I do.

“For it is only by my willingness to obey where I do not yet fully see, that I can be led into the unknown territory this is love living itself into action. Beyond the grave there is only conscious love; only conscious faith, only conscious hope. It is the realm of eternal verities. But if I can allow myself to be led, I know I will be brought to my heart’s true home, and even more, to the invincible certainty that this impossible wager is true: love IS stronger than death and we WILL find our lives by laying them down.”

Lately I’ve found myself trying harder and harder to define what used to be so natural to me. Our love. Sometimes the feeling of being “sidelined” from the life we should’ve lived out becomes a thick fog over what’s most valuable to me. Today, I force the fog to clear. And I refuse to view the sidelines. Today it is only love I see.

As I work to clear my point of view this morning... to just TRUST David... the definition of love is becoming more evident, more pronounced even as I sit here... and it has been right in front of me all along.

What is love?

Love has no shape. No gender. No color. No race.
It is open. It is only open. It’s vastness grown more within an open heart. It EVOKES a better self- an “increase in being.” For some reason David and I never had to be told to put the other first... It’s what we mutually desired... for the other’s needs to be met. He made. me better; “increased” who I was- who I am.

“I want it because I think it helps him; he wants it because he thinks it helps me. After a while who gives what or why doesn’t matter anymore; only the giving itself matters.”

It’s not the feeling of love that’s most vital... but... the inner shifting of who you are... of your very nature. It’s the acknowledge for the other the same significance we we tend to see and focus on only in our selves.And with the possibility of this kind of love being reciprocated- the mutual understanding of “give-and-take”... This love... This love is the ultimate union. It’s the kind of love that isn’t put out by death but set free by it. It’s the kind of love that breaths life into my soul.

So today, July 2, 2010 marks our 5th wedding anniversary. To be honest we didn’t need a wedding ceremony to proclaim our love as eternal... as ultimate. But I’d like to think of myself as extremely lucky though, to have had this day with him. I am humbled by this kind of honor. I will never take for granted the moments we were given. I know too many who were not given the chance to say “I do” before their family. Since marriage is defined as “a close and intimate union” it is to you, my dearest friends, I say Happy Marriage Anniversary... today I acknowledge the union this kind of love has lead us to.

“For if what we really did was to bring into being an abler soul between us, then we are both accountable to it, and I must obey and trust even where I don’t yet fully see. I do not have to repeat what he did here; instead, what I must accomplish is something he did not do here; I must do it for both of us. An it can only be done in the one dimension he now lacks and I still have: time.”




David: You are the best of me. I’m smiling from ear to ear right now thinking about July 2nd... It was a fun day, baby... Happy Anniversary, My Love... “I know... I feel it.”

8.